That One Guy
by Just Another Indonesian Writer
Summary: You know... no matter where you live, or what school you attend to, there's ALWAYS that one guy... and that guy, is me. [Self-Insert OC that's based on the real-life me]
1. You Know?

You know... no matter where you live, or where do you go to school, there is always that one guy... That one guy who always sits alone in the corner, where everyone would usually alienate him, and he did nothing to stop them, like, as if he's enjoying every single bit of his lonely experience. Not that he doesn't want to have friends, but he's too timid to even spit some words out of his mouth. Call him antisocial, call him shy, or call a freak, you guys can call him whatever you like.

But I would like to call him... Me.

That's right. Me. Now before going too deep about myself I want you guys to know how I look and what do I usually do at school. I'm fairly short for my age, I mean, I just reached seventeen a couple of months back, but I still stand at the height of 167 Centimeters. Yes, that's right. One-hundred-sixty-seven freaking centimeters. And please note that I'm a guy too. So, yeah. Call me a midget if you like, not that I will care about it anyway. I mean, sure, I'm short, but at least I'm still taller than a few guys I know.

I got a short, kinda-straight, bur kinda-messy, black hair, like your usual hair color. Some bangs're hovering above my forehead, and they were cut just before they reached my dark brown eyes. All of my bangs're facing the left with some strands parted from the left, center, and the right. As usual, for a guy on his mid-teens, some very, very thin, very soft, and nearly invisible mustaches are growing just under my nose. My skin, as per your usual Asian, is tan, if not, a bit dark. Some people even called me a jaundiced, because the shade of tan of my skin was light-brown-ish, that's nearly looking like... Yeah.

I'm a pretty typical guy. Not muscly, not too weak, but still frail. I'm not too chubby, and I can't call myself too skinny as well. A very... Normal and balanced mixture of your everyday high-schooler. If another guy or girl bummed to me in the street, they'll just forget in like, what... thirty seconds, a minute, max. I'm just... Normal. Now, although I may look pretty weak, I got an iron-tough immune system, that said, I rarely get sick, I sneeze and cough occasionally, but I've never got into something bad. But if something like a fever hit me while I'm down, they can hit me pretty hard.

Now that I've told you about my physical info, let's get on with my more... personal life, shall we? First off... ah, yes. Family. My family's pretty normal. I'm not poor, but obviously not rich. If my dad or mom loses their jobs. Boom, instant drop-out. So economical life's pretty on the edge lately. But we can call ourselves a rather peaceful family. Just your everyday suburban family, to be more precise. Dad goes to work, mom goes to work, while I go to school. Eh, sure sometimes conflicts can break up between us, but we can fix it up in a jiffy.

And to be noted, I'm not Japanese, and I'm also not American, nor British, nor Australian. I came from a Southeastern Asian archipelago. Ever heard of a country named _Indonesia_? You know... that country that's right below the Philippines, and just above the Australian continent...? Yeah, that's where I come from, hence the grammar mistakes. I know a bit of English as well as Japanese, but can't actually put them into words that well. That'll also explain my tanned skin and narrow eyes. Speaking of narrow eyes...

...Oh, you don't know? I'm a Chinese-Indonesian. Chin-Donesian, if I remember the shorter term... or rather, slang, correctly.

Both my mom and dad're Chinese, but I was born in Indonesia, but still, that makes me a three-quarter Chinese, and a quarter of actual Indonesian. Now, enough of this. I should just get on with more pressing matters. Okay, so... why am I here in Japan? Family business. We move a lot. Although during the last twelve years I've been living at Southeast Asia, we moved here to Japan. Dad said that the school and the business're better here. And hey... I don't mind living in here anyway, so why not, right?

Now, moving on... I'm currently attending the Sobu High School as a sophomore. And... I'm not really doing that well to make myself known in the school. And, for obvious reasons as well. I've already had this silent, and antisocial nature that was born inside me since I was a kid. I'm shy and timid too, but I don't stutter when I'm speaking. I just keep my words short, hushed, minimal, quiet, and of course, muffled and nearly inaudible. Everyone would usually avoid me, and look at me like I'm some sort of a burglar or something.

Okay now, please note that, although I'm timid and shy, I'm not that kind of guy who acts like a girl on every occasion. I'm best described as the guy with almost no emotion. I don't react much if my name's called, I don't do anything, even when the break period comes along the corner, I'm more like a guy with a cold personality. Yes, people do actually say that I'm cold. I'm not hostile, but I'm also not friendly towards others. I've never said anything harsh, but just by seeing my face, you'll be convinced that I'm a freezing-cold guy.

Boys and girls alike would see me as if I'm an abomination, a waste. Like they'll die if they breathe in the same air as I do. If I actually open my mouth, the more louder guys just beat my volume, and my request for attention was left, and will always remain unheard by my classmates. Since I'm studying at a Japanese school, and combined with my minimal knowledge of Japanese and English, I'm doing pretty bad on my grades. Blame my excessive internet surfing if you'd like, but I'm actually pretty stressed myself.

I got called in by our homeroom teacher a few times to discuss my grades, and once or twice, even my parents got called in. Surely I am already desperate enough to survive in this school.

As I've already mentioned before, I don't have any friends, the reason varies. Some because I'm a foreigner, some because of the gossip that I like to do weird and questionable things, some because of another gossip that I like to do some gross and hideous things, and the list can still go on 'till the ends of the Earth. I don't even know how the hell the gossips even started, but it's really bugging the hell out of me. I mean, if I don't have any friends, that's alright, but spreading false rumors? Seriously?

Do I feel lonely? Well, yeah, who doesn't? I've tried approaching someone to talk to, but they just ignored me. Some were even more direct to me, they just laughed at my face and scooted away from me. In the end, I give up completely. So, I usually listen to some music or play with my phone when there's no teacher around, just to pass the time in school. Of course, there were even times when I tried to pull out my phone in class, and it just got confiscated instead. I've got my phone confiscated at least four times. No, really. Four times in just a matter of six months.

I'm not that kind of guy who likes perverted things. My phone's memory card's full of songs, mostly Japanese songs. Yeah, 4 Gigabytes well used. I usually plop in my earphones to blast some tunes into my ear at full volumes. My earphones don't usually last that long. The longest to last was about three months. The rest... a month, at max. I play the piano, the guitar, the cajon, and some other musical instruments. Not that anyone cared about it, though. Why am I always listening to music? To escape reality. I mean, music, for some reason, always succeed to bring some calmness into my ears, for some reason.

Let's see... what else to tell... Oh right. More private matters? Romance and love life? Huh... If you insist. Yeah, I do have fallen in love several times. The first one was I was still sitting in primary school. But you know what an eight year old love is, right? And I do have fallen in love with some girls in this school. But you can call that, _crushes_, instead of love. Cause, you know, it's a teen thing. But, due to my shy nature, I never made any move to the girl I like. Even IF I do make my move, I'll probably be ignored, or worse, even more alienated.

I mean, I've already tasted the word '_Let's just stay friends_' before, and the girl that I liked just saw me as if I was the murderer of her parents of some sort after that event. Hey... Some guys are just not that lucky, I guess.

So... in the end, I also give up on my effort to try and pick up girls. It's downright impossible.

So yeah... That's me... I'm that guy who always tried to get close to the others, but always ignored, I'm the guy who always fail at life and just have a streak of bad luck. I'm one of those guys who would go far and long inside my mind, but in the real life, nothing came out of my mouth. Oh, you're asking for my name now, huh? Well, yeah, after all of those explanations, I still haven't told you my name. My name's pretty simple, easy to remember... I'm known as...

* * *

**That One Guy**

**A '_Teen Romantic Comedy Snafu_' Work of Fiction**

**Based on a real life experience**

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

What is there to explain? I'm basically explaining my life.

No author notes for you. Move along. Dialogues and actual interactions between characters will be on the next chapter.


	2. The Service Club

**_Note:_**

This is a very-very Self-Insert fic, to the point where I actually put myself into SNAFU's universe. So this first person perspective was indeed my comment about and regarding the things throughout the series. I'm not going to make myself a cool, silent, caring guy or what not. I'm actually portraying myself in this fiction work, so what I say or think comes from the heart. It's basically me, trying to fit myself into the story that caught my eyes. I can't even say that this is an OC story, since it involves me to begin with. This fic basically depicts what if I was actually inside the series, and it also relays my opinion and my own dialogue on their interactions.

I'm not going to make this up. What you see in the character I've added, you're seeing me.

So... to the story then...

* * *

Today, I got called into the faculty office by our homeroom, Ms. Shizuka Hiratsuka, for some God-Knows-What reasons. Seeing that I probably should not mess with her, I decided to jet away straightly to the office room when the period ends. My dark brown eyes would keep darting left and right. I was being cautious. It's more like a paranoia thing, if you'd ask me. I was always watching, hearing people. I was afraid that they're spreading more false rumors about me. Not that I'll do anything to stop them, but, at least a glare is enough to make their talk grow a little more quieter.

As a student of the Sobu High, I always wear the black blazer as the main uniform, although I always keep the blazer itself unbuttoned. It's hot to keep wearing this formal set of clothing, you know? I mean, sure it looks cool, but I'm not a big fan of heat, so... yeah. Underneath that black blazer, lies my mandatory, long-sleeved, white dress shirt. A green colored tie was also tied around neck at a sloppy fashion. I'm wearing the school's trousers for my pants and a pair of black sneakers with some white lines as its patterns to cover my feet.

Oh and to top it off, I'm wearing a pair of glasses with minus lens and black colored frames. The handle of the glasses were a gradient-hybrid color of black and gray.

A white touch-screen phone was resting on my blazer's left pocket, and a black line of earphones was plugged into the connecting port, while the actual black colored bud are sticking to my left ear. I left my right ear free, so I could still hear and thus, feel my surroundings. Seriously, though, every time I hear someone giggling behind me, I usually get pissed for no reason. It's almost like they are actually talking about me right behind my back. But, since I'm too powerless to even react anyway...

I finally arrived at the front of the office. I paused my steps to disconnect my earphones and lock my phone. I peeked in via the small window the door provides, and a familiar sight greets me. Some teachers are walking here and there from one corner of the room to the other, doing something that I don't really care about. Some carrying coffee mugs, some carrying notes, some other... you know, usual teacher stuffs. More of them are sitting at their own work space, some with their notes open, some tinkering with their own laptops, and finally...

...Oh hello there, what have we here? Looks like someone's talking to Ms. Shizuka too. Oh wait... I know this guy. Hachiman Hikigaya. A fellow classmate of mine. By his name, it's an obvious giveaway that he's a Japanese. He has a short black hair with that weird strand of hair sticking out, his eyes were much more narrower than mine, earning him the moniker '_dead-fish eyes_'. He's wearing the same set of uniform I'm wearing, minus the green tie. He's also taller than me, too. But that's not the thing I'd like to discuss about him. Not about his appearance or what not. I want to talk about his... social life.

He's pretty similar to me. He's a loner, and doesn't really have much of a presence in our class. Unlike me who's shy, he's more like the kind a guy who just doesn't give a crap about anything. Compared to me, he's really laid back, and can get very unfriendly and sarcastic. He knew well about his current status, that he also has no friends, but at least he's not alienated. People just don't seem to care about him. Huh, lucky guy, really. I'd rather be unnoticed than be be popular but, at the same time, also being evaded by almost the entire school. Both of us are acquainted, but we are so not in friendly terms. He hates me because of the rumors, and while I don't return the hatred back to him, I dislike his sarcastic and harsh as well as his unfriendly personality.

Alright... enough sappy complaints about my high school life. Let's just go in and get this thing done already...

I knocked on the door twice to give some notice to the teachers inside that I'm coming in. I slid the door open, in which, it also caused some heads to turn to me, Ms. Shizuka and Hikigaya included. The other teachers who didn't have any business with me to begin with continued on with their own business. I gave a slight acknowledging and respectful nod to both of them before actually closing in my distance. Hikigaya's reaction was a raised eyebrow, and his expression was unreadable to me, while Ms. Shizuka was just staring at me with a smug look on her face.

"Afternoon, Hachiman-san." I gave him a slight greeting, he only nods back at me. I take that as an acknowledgement before turning my eyes to my class's homeroom. "Did you call me, Hiratsuka-sensei?"

The black haired teacher nodded her head. "Yes, I did. And you come in just in the perfect time, Brian. I think it's about time for you to fix that attitude of yours."

Yep, my name is Brian. Brian '_Liu Xin Nian_' Halim-perdana-kusuma. Quite a mouthful, huh? Some prefer to call me by my name, Brian, which I also approve this the most. Some other, if not most of the students in this school called me by the name Halim, my last name. Some that hated me with a passion simply refer me as _Liu_, or _Xin_, or _Nian_, or if they're being even more direct to me, _China_. Some even broke through the racial limits, by calling me _Indonesian_, _Chinese_, or _Chin-Do_. There're just so many ways to say my name. But I prefer to be called Brian the most. And yes, Liu Xin Nian is my Chinese given name.

I got lost when she mentioned that I should fix my attitude, though. What the hell did I do?

Back to topic. When Ms. Shizuka finished her last sentence, she stood up from her chair. "I want you two to come with me for a moment." She demanded, before walking pass by us and into the door.

I exchanged glances with my classmate. "What... was that for...?" I asked, loud enough for him to hear.

Hachiman only shrugged indifferently. "How the hell should I know about it?" He answered sarcastically. "Let's just... follow her already."

Huh... Same old, same old...

* * *

Both me and Hachiman followed our homeroom teacher down the long hallways of the school. My classmate didn't care about the chatter that seems to erupt when both of us walked pass by some hotspot of the school, like the library, some crowded classrooms, and so on. The look on his face screams '_Let's just get this over with, I want to go home_' or something between that line. I, on the other hand, was getting more and more irritated every time I hear someone giggling, or just, going out on a full blown laughter behind us. Just... Deep breaths, Brian... Deep breaths...

We stopped our march down the hall when we reached a certain vacant classroom. Wasting no time, Ms. Shizuka immediately opened it and just walks right into the class. Me and my classmate both shot an uncertain look at each other before walking in as well. Once we're inside, everything suddenly fell into a long silence. The room was pretty typical for a normal classroom. I mean, there's the board, some tables are on the sides of the class, and there's the clock, and the window overlooking the field too.

And... a girl? A girl's sitting in silence over there with a book in her hands. Her hair was very long, nearly touching her waist lines, and it's pure, and bit glossy black, similar to mine in terms of hair shade. Like me, some bangs also hover above her forehead, and two skinny bangs fell over to the sides of her slightly pale face. I can also see two red strings of mobius strip tied on some hair parts on each shoulders. I can identify the color of her eyes as dark, angular, and pale blue, making it a near intersection with dark silver as well as black. She's wearing the standard uniform as well as the blazer of Sobu High.

I know her. Yukino Yukinoshita of class 2-J, the General National Course. The class itself's pretty classy, since most students of the class were girls to begin with. She's pretty popular around the school, but I paid little attention to it. Although I once heard that most guys are attracted to her because she's... pretty? Some also said that she's smart. I don't know, although I agree on the part that she's smart, she looks pretty normal to me. Nothing really special that could attract me to her.

_Why would the guys have a secret crush on her anyways...?_

Noticing our presence, the said girl turned her face to us. "Hiratsuka-sensei, I believe I've asked you to knock before entering the room." She said, somewhat irritated.

The mentioned woman only shrugged nonchalantly. "Why should I? Even if I knocked, you wouldn't have answered me anyway."

"That's also because you'd enter regardless of my answer." Yukino retorted back. "So... Who are these clueless guys?"

_Clueless?_

Hachiman seems to be offended by the remark. He flinched and then immediately glared at the general direction of the girl. I, on the other hand, am actually clueless. I don't know what the hell is going on. What is this class? Why is it empty? Why is Yukino here? Why's Hikigaya here with me? Why'd Ms. Shizuka bring me here? So many questions crossed my mind. I was thinking so hard to the point that I even raised my right hand to hold my chin, as if trying to figure out something crucial.

"Both of them want to join this club." Ms. Shizuka replied back to her, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Go on, you two, introduce yourselves."

Hachiman was the first one to go. "I'm a second year student of class F, Hikigaya Hachiman." For some reason, that came out rather nervous of him. "Let's see... Wait, what do you mean by '_want to join the club_'?"

I also blinked in surprise. I didn't sign up for any extracurricular activities. "Hiratsuka-sensei, I think we might have some a little bit of misunderstanding-"

"As a punishment for your half-assed report, you'll be joining this club." She cuts me off abruptly, also effectively silencing me. "And you, Brian, this is what I was talking about. To 'fix' that personality of yours, you'll also be joining this club, effective immediately, and I also won't be taking a 'no' as an answer"

Great... more nonsense for me to fill in.

But once again, I should probably consider this thing. My grades're already depressing enough as it is.

"So basically, that's the gist of it. This one guy has a rotten heart to go with his rotten eyes, those two things made him pathetic and lonely." Ouch. Ms. Shizuka's sure is a forward one. "And this guy right here... He's been locked up inside his own Pandora's Box and won't open to anyone, so that also pretty much made him the same as this guy right here."

Although Hachiman looked like he was ready to return the insult, I was doing nothing. I'm the kind of guy who always lets anyone to take a beat on me. I mean, sure I can just ignore them if they bug me. But we can actually ignore a teacher, right? Especially, when this woman is our homeroom...

"Now, to get them over that, I 'd like these two to join the club with you. That's pretty much my request." The young woman finally finished.

Yukino sternly closed her book. "I will have to respectfully decline that request, sensei." She began to cover her chest area for some strange reasons. "I feel that I would only be putting myself in danger being near someone with rotten eyes, lead by a rotten heart, and someone that's also-"

Here we go with the rumors. I twitch my eyebrow to signify annoyance. "What, someone that's also hideous, ugly, perverted and gross? For the record, those are false gossips." I finished her sentence.

Her eyebrow also twitched as well, she glared at me. "You can gawk all you want, but judging by your appearance, I'd say that your description of yourself is correct." I can't tell if she's being sarcastic, or actually insulting me. Probably both.

Huh. Self-insecurity at its finest.

"Eh, don't worry about it." Ms. Shizuka tried to convince the girl that's still glaring at us. "These two may not look it, but they are pretty trustworthy. They won't do anything stupid that'll only end them up in a brig or something." She was saying so nonchalantly, I'm afraid that Yukino right won't be convinced by her words. "Just put your faith in them or, even better, just think of them as spineless hooligans." Wait, what's a hooligan?

I motioned my hands to plop back to my blazer's pockets. It's a weird habit since middle school.

"With all due respect, I'd like to say otherwise. I'm not spineless." The fish-eyed boy awkwardly stated.

Once again, I did nothing at the supposed insult.

"Spineless... Ah, I see." Yukino nodded, understanding the- wait, what?

"You don't need to actually take that so seriously." I spoke up coldly. God, what's wrong with me? Why am I speaking so much today?

Hachiman nodded at my response. "I can't believe that I'm agreeing with _him_... But, ditto."

_Hmph._

After a few seconds of silence, she sighed in slight discontent. "Well, since it's a request from a teacher, I can't actually say 'no... very well. I accept."

Our teacher gave out a satisfied smile to her. "I see... Well, I'll leave them to you then, Yukinoshita." And with that, she left the room.

I only watched as the lab-coated woman closed the classroom door, and once again, silence sets into the room. No one, or nothing made any noise at all. The only sound that I heard was from the slightly strong wind that managed to enter the class, the sound of the school's nearby flag pole's metal wires hitting against each other, and finally the clock that has been the classroom since God-knows-when. It was quiet. Too quiet, even. When I turned my head to the only girl present in the room, she was already back to reading her book.

The atmosphere was... I can't say for sure... it's rather between calming and awkward. Hachiman had his back turned from the girl, but he was staring right at her from over his shoulder. Wait... is he staring or is he glaring at her? Not only that, he was also smiling a rather... disgusted smile? With the edges of his lips kept on twitching, almost signifying a mental breakdown. His forced, disgusted smile suddenly faded, and an irritated look replaces it instead.

With a slight look of anger, Hachiman turned his full body around to face at her direction. "_GRRR...!_"

**_What...?! _**He... he growled... h-he _actually_ _growled_ at her!

Noticing this, Yukino simply raised her head from the book she's reading and glared at him. Please cue a roaring sound effect.

"K-Kyun..." And, with that simple glare, it's enough to drop the seemingly almost endless self-confidence of the great Hikigaya.

My palm promptly smacked my own face.

"Why don't you two take a seat, already?" She just diverted her attention back to her book as she said that.

"A-ah, right... Sorry about that." Hachiman was about to get himself a seat from that stack of chairs.

But I've already beat him to the stack. "Please, let me do it for you, Hachiman-san." I pulled a chair from the stack and kicked it with my leg. The seat slides across the floor and stopped when Hachiman's hands made contact with it. He shot me a look, but didn't say anything. I'll just take that as a look of appreciation, then. I pulled another chair out for myself and just set it down on the spot. I finally sat down on the chair with my arms crossed.

The next thing I realized about our current situation's the spaces between us. Between the three of us, there's at least a five-meter distance. Yukino was sitting near the open windows overlooking the outside, Hachiman was sitting to her right, near the door that leads us back to the school's hallways. And finally, here I am, sitting just after the stack of chairs, which was at the most farthest corner of the room. Once again, silence kicks in.

Although, it seems Hachiman seems to be feeling uneasy. He fidgeted in his own seat ever so slightly.

Having enough of the uneasy silence, Yukino once again finally raised her head from her book. "What is it...?"

"Well... I'm just a bit confused, that's all." Admitted my classmate. "But seriously... what does this club actually do?"

"Why don't you just take a wild guess?"

He pouts thoughtfully at the challenge, and finally, he snapped his fingers rather confidently. "Literature."

"Oh?" Hummed Yukino. "Do pray tell, why did you choose that?"

After hearing that, looks like Hachiman's self confidence once again soars. "This classroom doesn't have any distinctive features across, and all you do is just sit around and read some books."

"That's incorrect." The girl replied flatly.

The fish-eyed boy's eyebrow twitched. "Then, just tell me what club is this, already." He demanded.

"For your information, I'm actually doing some club activities right now." She finally lets her gaze go from her book and turned towards him.

Hachiman grunted distastefully, frustrated at his own way of thinking. "Well, I give up. I have absolutely no idea."

She sighed deeply at this. "Let's start with an example... Halim-kun." After she called my last name, I simply raised my head to face her. "When was the last time you talked to a girl?"

"Just a few minutes ago, with Hiratsuka-sensei." I answered dully, not wanting to take part in this conversation whatsoever.

"Young women and your mom doesn't count." She returned the reply as dull as I am.

_Damn it. There goes that plan..._

"...A few weeks back, with a friend over at my own country via Skype chat. Why'd you ask?" I answered again, this time, at least with a noticeable tiny bit amount of emotion in my tone of speech.

"'_The one who possesses skills shall grace those without them._' And those people are called volunteers." She stood up from the chair and walked closer to the center of the class. "They reach out with a helping hand for those who're in need of help."

"Quoting Charles Rozell Swindoll, I see, Yukinoshita-san." The edge of my lip twitched upwards to form a very tiny, yet hollow and empty smile. "I didn't know that you're a Catholic."

She blinked, probably signifying her own surprise. Not that I care, Sir Chuck Swindoll's pretty famous worldwide. "So... You know of him."

I scoff pathetically, still maintaining my crossed arms as I stand up from my own chair. "Oh please, I may look stupid, but I'm not _that_ stupid."

"Hmph." She grinned back at my general direction, but still, that grin was hollow and still somewhat... insulting. "...For the record, I don't believe in the same religion as you do, Halim-kun. I just quote him because he's a well known figure in the world."

"Ah, _touché_." I rolled my eyes indifferently, officially pulling myself out from getting in too deep of a conversation with her.

Hachiman was staring at us the whole time. "I'm still not getting any name of the club here, guys. Can we please skip all of this crap and just get into the answer?" He demanded, slightly irritated at our talk.

Both of us turned our faces to him, but Yukino was the one speak. "Right... So anyway, that's what the club does." She crossed her arms. "Welcome to the Sobu High School's Public Service Club. I will try my best to fulfill the task that has been given to me, by fixing both of your problems. For that... the two of you should be grateful."

"Well... you are a one pompous bitch, you know that?" Hachiman was the first one to react, and he's angry alright. "My problems? For your information, I am quite talented in more ways than one. I scored third in the Japanese Practical Test, I'm also good-looking. While I don't have any girlfriends nor friends, that's only because of my high standards."

I scoffed again. "Well, minus the good-looking part, and you're good." I added, my sarcastic side taking the best of me. "You sure are something... Saying things like that with such pride."

"Heh, you too. For someone that's practically a mute in our class, you truly are a noisy asshole." He glared at me.

"I'll fix both of your impressions against each other. Both of you are weirdos, and creeps." Yukino finally buts herself into our argument.

Unsatisfied by the conclusion from the black haired girl, Hachiman finally stood up from his seat as well. "Just shut it. I'm not here to just be ridiculed by you."

She only grinned coldly at him. "From what I can tell, you're left alone because of your character, Hikigaya-kun." She said menacingly. "In regards to your appearance and intelligence, looks aren't everything, and academics won't win you any friends." I can't say that I don't agree with her here. So then, my analysis regarding the matter was perfect, was it not?"

_Huh, ditto._

I clicked my fingers to signal that I actually agree with her. She understood the hand signal.

"That IS one hell of an analysis." Through his frustration, Hachiman still managed to sound a bit impressed. "But it's still incomplete."

Yukino ran some fingers down her long hair. "So... That concludes our 'talking with another human being' simulation." She stated, a bit too a-matter-o'-factly, in my opinion. "If you two're able to talk to a girl like me, then both of you should be able to talk to anyone else. I think I've managed to fix you two by a bit." Why's she so satisfied about this?

"It's not like we can't hold ourselves a conversation." I deadpanned. "It's about something else that you should 'fix' about us."

Hachiman once again, grunted in a displeased and sour manner when he heard my voice. "Count me out. I don't want any part of me to be 'fixed' by her."

"I think it'll be bad for you and your social life if you don't try to learn and change, Hikigaya-kun. You should-" She was interrupted when the door slides open again. The three of us turned our heads to the source of the noise to find our teacher as well as the supervisor for this weird Service club (seriously, why name it Service club? It sounds so freaking perverted. They could call this a voluntary club, or do-nothing club instead), Ms. Shizuka, entering the room.

"Yukinoshita, I'm entering." With that, she automatically lets herself into the dull classroom.

The girl beside us sighed warily. "Sensei... I've told you to knock before-"

"I know, I know. My bad, but it seems you're having some trouble handling these two." She pointed at me and Hachiman.

"It is because they won't admit their faults and flaws. That does possess a lot of trouble for me." Yukino replied with her ever-bored voice.

_My flaws? What?_

"That's not it, you know." Protested the fish-eyed classmate of mine. "I just... Uh, don't feel comfortable when someone's just keep forcing me to do something I don't want to."

I shot him a sarcastic side-look. "Oh, so you're chickening out, then?"

"Hmph, stop tryn'a be a philosopher, _China_." He smirked at me. "I'd tell you what, there's no difference between changing yourself and chickening out. Why can't I just live in peace without all of these things?"

"Oh, but there is." I quickly answered back, still shooting him a flat look, only sharper, this time.

"You may say that too, but if you just do that... You're just... If you just do that, your troubles won't go away." Yukino continued. This was the first time that someone's actually supporting me in an argument, hooray me. "I won't be able to help you with your problems."

Both me and Hachiman was taken aback at this, but with different reasons, of course. With me being surprised over the fact this girl right here is helping me to win this heated argument, and I'm pretty sure Hachiman's just shocked when he heard that Yukino can also go pretty emotional herself. Silence took over the room as the three of us exchanged glares and untrusting looks at each other. We looked like we're going to explode to a full blown debate, but no one actually opened their mouths.

Looks like Ms. Shizuka realized the rising tension in this room. She raised both of her hands to get our attention and calm us down. "Now, now, you three. Just calm down." She ordered, then she clears her throat. "Here's an idea, we'll just settle this like a Shounen Manga. I will propose a challenge where the society will have the benefit."

_Shounen Manga? Seriously? What is this, Naruto?_

"What are you talking about, Sensei?" Hachiman finally calmed himself down enough to ask that question, I suppose.

She raised her index finger and pointed it dramatically to us. "In other words, this is a challenge where the most helpful member wins, and the winner can order the loser everything they like! How's that sound?"

Should I... pop out a confetti or something? Cause, you know, the silence was just deafeningly awkward.

"I disagree." I refused out loud, shaking my head at the same process.

"And I would have to agree with Halim-san right here. I don't feel safe betting against him." Yukino covered her chest again. Right... Self-insecurity.

Hachiman's eyebrow twitched. "Hey, that's sexist, you know." He protested. "Guys don't always talk about perverted things."

"So, both of you are saying that you're afraid to lose, then?" Ms. Shizuka gave a thoughtful look to both me and the black haired girl. "I thought you two are better than this. Especially you, Yukinoshita. You're usually more confident when it comes to things like these."

I dropped my straight look and it was replaced with a sour one instead. "It's not like that, Hiratsuka-sensei."

On the other hand, Yukino was contemplating on her own choice. "Very well... Even though I now feel a bit like a fool for being provoked, I accept the challenge."

"Well, sorry to say, Brian, but there's no backing out once you're in this. So, it is settled, then!"

Why do I have a bad feeling about this...?

* * *

**That One Guy**

**The Service Club**

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

So, you can say that I'm a cold, sarcastic, and a bit unfriendly to people. And yes, I'm actually like this in real life. I'm just pretending to be friendly and funny at the internet world. Way to hide my dark reality, huh? Once again. This is not a series nor character bashing fic. I'm basically inputting myself on the universe. See if I can't do something to mess up a bit of my pride and tell people about the story of my life in a bit of a more interesting way. I like the series as well as all of its character, and once again, this is just a thing that I've decided to do for the past week.

_Liu Xin Nian_ is my real Mandarin name. _Brian_ is my real first name, Halim-perdana-kusuma is made up.


	3. The Pinkette

I can't believe that we're actually doing this... but, it's the day after both me and Hachiman's uneventful, forced recruitment to the Service Club of Sobu High. And now, we're walking down the halls of the school to go back to our assigned club room. I've had my earphones in both of my ears, because for now, I just don't want to give a crap to the world around me. Both me and Hachiman was still a little bit sore from yesterday, today, we just spent the entire school period glaring at each other.

Both of us arrived before the door to the supposed class. I pulled my earphones out and deactivated my phone. I slid the door open and let my classmate to walk in first. All that he gave to me was a side-look. Not even a grunt of acknowledgement to me. I shrugged and just walked in. Inside the room, a certain member of the club, namely Yukino Yukinoshita was already sitting at her spot, reading the same book she was reading yesterday. Hachiman motioned himself to plop into the same seat that was left there yesterday.

I walked over to my own seat at the corner of the room and pulled it just a little bit closer to them. At least, enough for them to hear me if I speak at my hushed voice.

"Afternoon." She greeted with her monotone voice. "I didn't think you two would come. Could it be that you two are actually a masochist?" She questioned without even looking away from the pages of the book.

Hachiman flinched when he heard the last word. "No." He rejected hastily.

"A stalker, then."

My classmate had enough of her comments regarding the both of us. "You're really making this sounds like we're on affair or something. I don't have feelings for you, alright?"

Yukino then shifts her head to look at the fish-eyed Japanese. "So... Am I mistaken, then?"

"Very." I muttered over my breath, just enough to be audible.

My fish-eyed classmate looked at me as if I've just eaten his puppy alive. But he relented from saying anything. "Say... You don't actually have friends too, right?"

Yukino stared into the distance at the question from him. "Let's see... Can you please define the what a friend is in your dictionary?"

"Ah, forget it. After seeing your response, I'm convinced that you don't have any friends." He stopped her from replying any further.

I put my hand up to my chin. "That kinda makes you the kind of girl that doesn't have much friends to begin with, even with the fact that most, if not, all the guys in this school would kill each other just to talk... no, lay their eyes on you." I summed up, in which, this caused the two to raise their eyebrows at me. "Correct me if I'm wrong. It's just my opinion, but why's that?"

"You two wouldn't understand it." She replied back to me, irritated. She closed her book and stood up from her seat. "I've always been cute, that makes the males would try to approach me in hopes of conveying their feelings." She walked over to her own bag and placed her book there, she picked up another book afterwards.

Forgive me, but I coughed after I heard that, and Hachiman himself just made the sound like he was choking in the oxygen he just breathed in.

"So, what you're trying to say is... you were always alone, yet you also had a face that no one can ignore." Mused Hachiman.

I let out a hollow chuckle. "Heh. Sounds a bit tragic if you'd ask me."

The Japanese girl stopped whatever she's doing and just stared to the outside from the window. "Then again... maybe it would've been better to be just loved by anyone."

I rolled my eyes whilst shrugging my shoulders. "Well, no kidding."

"What did you two mean by that, anyway?" The other guy in the room questioned.

She finally broke her staring contest with the far horizons and turned to face us again. "I had to look for my slippers for over sixty times during elementary. Out of those sixty times, fifty times of those cases were done by the girls. Thanks to that, I've had to make sure that my slippers were with me when I returned home, every single day."

I opened my phone to check for any notifications. None were present on screen. "Sounds like you've had it rough too, huh?" I flipped my phone back to my blazer's pocket once I've said that.

She... did she just smile? Yeah, that was a self-delusional smile. "You can say that if you want too." She sat down on her chair again, holding the book closer to her. "And that all happened because I was cute." She added with a bit of sadder tone this time. This was rare. "But... I guess it can't be helped. No one is perfect. Human beings are low and weak, we fall to envy all too easily. So it's hard for a talented person to just... live a normal life. Isn't it strange?"

I can't really answer her back to that. I looked over to my classmate, and he was all twitching his eye at the conversation we're having. I was about to reply back to her after a couple of seconds passed.

"But..." She spoke up again, cancelling my attempt to talk to her. "I plan to change that. I plan to change this world."

Hachiman finally showed another part of himself that's actually thoughtfully thinking about the latter girl's statement. "After hearing this, I think your faultless image has been completely broken."

"It's still better than being a spineless crybaby such as yourselves." That was a rather fast recovery, Yukino. I'd tell you that if I had the balls to. "I just hate the way you're so laid back and so easy going about anything, Hikigaya-kun. And I also hate the way you talk to people, you're way too harsh to your surroundings, Halim-kun." After she made that perfectly clear, she looked away from us like we're a hostile being or something.

Look who's talking. Your 'Ice-Cold Princess' title isn't just for show either.

What a weird dilemma. It's been always strange, how people would also tear everything down out of jealousy. Friendship, to even love can be lost in a second just a spark of those. For once, I actually agree with this girl right here. I've lost so much because I've been jealous, and people were jealous of me. I don't why people are even jealous. I'm just a simple kid. My looks aren't that great. I'm short, I can only speak in seven or eight different languages, but why the hell are people jealous?

And so I get it. The three of us got something in common. We don't have any friends because of the way we act. And our personalities differs as well. I'm timid, shy, cold, sarcastic, and unfriendly to others. Hachiman here is easy going, laid back, a bit direct and harsh too. While Yukino was... I have to agree on the part that she's actually ice-cold. Well I can also agree that the three of us are harsh, direct, sarcastic, and unfriendly towards others. Even amongst club members. The irony is palpable. We're supposed to help each other out, yet we all have some major problems of our own. That can't be solved just by talking stuff out.

I stared at my palm, and just promptly bury my face in my hands.

"Hey... listen, Yukinoshita, China." The fish-eyed boy that has been stuck in his own silence finally spoke up, gathering both of our attention to him. He was surprisingly being nervous. "Don't you think that we, I mean, the three of us can actually be frien-"

"I'm sorry, but that's not going to happen."  
"Not really happening, Hachiman-san."

We blatantly refused his offer at the same second. It was so amusing and it also made me depressed at the same time. It's not like I don't want to be his friend, but still, I can't really trust someone that's been unfriendly to me this whole time to just open up and be my... friend. Trust is important in friendship, and I value that thing the most. You can't just expect me to be your friend immediately after we got ourselves acquainted. I can't be too trusting. It could be fatal.

"But I haven't even finished yet...!" Whined the boy.

Then, there was a knock on the door. Our diverted attention were immediately turned towards the twin pair of sliding doors of the classroom.

"Come in." Responded Yukino with a volume loud enough so it can be heard on the outside.

And in cue, the door slides open and a figure walks into the class. All eyes are on this new presence. Our sights fell upon a girl that can't actually be older than us. She had a short, shoulder-length, to be precise, pink hair. I did take a note regarding a bun on the right side of her hair. Her eyes were light chocolate brown and they were the eyes of a timid person. Her skin was fair, not as tanned as mine, but not as pale as Yukino's. Like me, her black blazer was left unbuttoned. She's Yui Yuigahama. Our classmate from 2-F. She's pretty friendly, I suppose. We don't really talk to each other, but she's fine, I guess. At least she doesn't hate me even with all the rumors.

"E-excuse me." She shyly let herself in, also closing the door behind her. "I was told to come here by Hiratsuka-sensei and..." She suddenly froze. "W-why's Hikki here...? And... Brian-san too?" She suddenly blurted in a bit of panic.

The said boy stared at her, rather confused at her sudden meltdown. "Well... I am a member of this club, so..."

_Hikki? Seriously?_

"Watch yourself, Hachiman-san. Looks like someone's on to you." I joked dryly, still managing to keep my face straight even after the weird chain of events that're happening before my eyes.

He glared at me. "Shut it, you." The boy hissed while pointing his finger at me, and the words leaving his mouths were covered in venom.

Yukino pulled out another chair and placed it down near her own seat. "You're Yuigahama Yui from class 2-F, right? Please, have a seat." She gestured a free hand to the free chair before sitting down in her own.

Her eyes went a bit brighter when she saw the open seat. She skipped her steps to the chair and promptly sat herself down there. "So, you know me?"

"I think the entire school knows you." Hachiman was the first to response.

And Yukino was even quicker to reject the idea. "No, I'd never heard about you two up till now."

I chuckled hollowly. "Yeah... Seriously."

"Well, you don't have to worry about that, though. I'll just pretend that both of you didn't even exist. Because, as you can see, I have a weak heart." Once again, _touché._

The fish-eyed boy was dissatisfied at her reply to me. "Hey, what was that? Some sort of consolation?"

"No, it's a beautiful thing called irony." Yukino replied rather sarcastically.

"So then..." Oh, right. Yui. I almost forgot that she's sitting inside this room. I was too busy staring at the ceiling for no apparent reason at all. Once again, it's a bad habit I'm trying to get rid of. "This is a fun club! I mean, Hikki, you sure talk a lot, right?"

The fish-eyed boy tilted his head to the side slightly at the absurdity. "Eh?" Was his ingenious response.

_Oh brother._

Why the hell's she getting so flustered over this? "W-well, how... Uuh... how should I put this...?" She stuttered out. "You're sorta... different here compared when you're in class. You too, Brian-san. You're usually quiet in class. I've never known that you can actually talk so much too...! You two can be weird at times..."

_I don't get it._

Hachiman tutted in irritation. He just looked away from us. "Tch, that bitch."

"Language." I warned monotonely, with my eyes still peeled at the ceiling of the class.

Of course, Yui was angered at the insult. "Wh-what?! I'm not a bitch, I'm still a virgi-"

"Don't say it." I warned again. "Don't say it if you don't want to embarrass yourself." This time, I pulled my head down to see the pinkette's face burning red after my comment regarding her outburst.

"N-Nevermind that!" She stammered out hastily, with her hands hovering above her mouth, like she was about to slap herself after saying such words.

Yukino pondered at my warning. "But, it is not that embarrassing, right? I mean, at this age, we're-"

"Stop." I pleaded a bit desperately. "Please."

Looks like poor Yui has just reached her breaking point. The short haired girl flailed her arms around in the air, while shouting for a couple of seconds, silencing every single talk about the whole thing. "G-guys, hold it, alright?! J-just what're you trying to say?! It's still embarrassing no matter what...! I mean, come on, Yukino-san, aren't you the advocate for 'girl power'?!"

"That is a senseless value to advocate, though." Yukino closes her eyes, concentrating on her thoughts.

I can hear my male classmate snickering with his face still turned away from the girls. "Yeah, but you still sound like a bitch when you said 'Girl-Power'."

"You-you said it again! You're seriously calling me a bitch? You're sick!" The pinkette yelled and was _this_ close on spitting on his face.

"For fudge sake, guys." I stood up from my seat. "Can we just please, stop with this whole bitch thing. Just for a minute...?"

Silence sets in after my dull anger blows up.

"Thank you. Now, Yui-san. What brings you here, to the Service club's room?"

* * *

"Cookies?" Both me and Hachiman questioned in perfect sync.

We're currently in Sobu's Home Industry room, on the kitchen area, to be more exact. Since it's after school the place was already vacated. No one was here, save for us, the Service club members, and Yui. Both Yui and Yukino had the school's apron on over their dress shirt, replacing their blazer. I can see some kitchen supplies sprawled around the table. Eggs, flour, chocolate, cocoa powder, sugar. Someone'been making pastries, I can also still smell the fresh smell that lingers around the area... Oh, right, back to the topic. I shouldn't space out too often.

"That's right." Yukino nodded. "It seems she wants someone to taste her cookies, but due to her lack of confidence, she wants us to help out."

"Isn't that something you would ask your friend to do?" Hachiman pointed out.

To be honest, I was also asking myself the same question. But thanks to my timidness, I didn't spoke that aloud.

"Ye-yeah... But... I um... I don't really want my friends to know about it." She stumbled over her own words. "But I can't also be this serious to a friend, either."

I hmph'ed in an acknowledgement of her statement. I get it. It'll be awkward to just shove your friends some of your cookies, demanding them to eat it. Although I am curious. She's making cookies? Interesting... I mean, I can cook a bit too. Perks of being in a too balanced life means that you have to survive on your own too. I can flip myself some sunny-side-up eggs, some instant noodles, if I'm bored, and just enough menu that'll not bore me every week. I learn that from my mom.

"A-anyway, I heard from Hiratsuka-sensei that this club fulfills the wishes of the student, right?" Yui finally asked regarding our club activities.

"Fulfill wishes sounds like a bit of a superstition to me." I narrowed my eyes a bit when I heard that.

"We, the Service club only lends a hand for those who're in need of help. But we don't just hand out the starving fish. We also teach them how to get it themselves and be self-sufficient." Yukino added her own explanation regarding our club.

Looks like Yui wasn't expecting that. The pinkette looks amazed. "W-wow, that sounds amazing."

Yukino stared at her for a few seconds, before walking in closer to our girl classmate. "Your apron's all twisted. Don't you know how to properly wear an apron?" She commented regarding the sloppy girl's apron position. I would say the same thing too since I'm a cook myself, but I don't care.

"So... You girls are going to cook. But what about us?" The fish-eyed classmate of mine questioned.

"You two can just tell us how they taste later." Yukino suggested.

I nodded. "Not a bad idea."

_Oh how I was so wrong about it..._

I'm now staring at a plate filled with... Cookies... That looked so bad, I should call them 'pieces of charcoal' instead. You guys would think that cookies would come in round shapes, right? Well, you're wrong, Yui somehow managed to create a rhombus shaped cookie. Rhombus. Both me and Hachiman stared down at the plate as if they were filled with poison and / or toxic. The pinkette herself was already concerned at her own creation to begin with, and Yukino was holding a hand up to her forehead, frustrated at the result of the cooking.

"H-How did it come to this...?" She muttered. "How did they come out so badly...?"

Hachiman began to poke at the 'cookies'. "It looked like a piece of overly burned charcoal."

"Are these even... Edible?" I asked cautiously, picking up a piece into my hand. "These things are not... poisonous, are they?"

"O-of course not! W-wait... I think it might be." Even the freaking baker herself said that.

"You guys... don't want to die, right?" The other girl asked us, _slightly_ concerned of our well-being.

"I'm not planning to." I sighed. "We need to figure out a way on how to fix this."

"I know, but what can we do to actually make them look better?" Yukino asked out of my statement.

Hachiman poked his finger out. "Here's an idea." He said as he plops himself to the nearby chair the kitchen provides. "Never let Yuigahama cook again."

_I agree._

"Let's just try this again. I'll help out too. I know a few ways you guys can choose if it's only making some simple dry pastries." I threw my blazer aside and pulled an apron out of the counter. This action was surely not expected by everyone currently present inside the room. They were all staring at me in surprise. Due to my shyness, I scooted away from them a bit while I was putting on my apron. "Wh-what...?" My first stuttered word after a few weeks... Great.

"N-No... It's just that, I've never really seen you like this before, Brian-san. You're usually... quiet, distant, cold... but I've never thought that you can actually do this kind of stuff." Yui replied, before letting her head drop slightly. "Everyone's trying their best... while I don't actually have the talent to even do it..." She muttered almost so sadly.

Yukino frowned at this. "You have to work harder to solve a problem. Yuigahama-san, you only said that you don't have any talents, right?" She questioned, but before the pinkette could answer she pressed on anyway. "You have to understand what that means. People who don't work hard don't have the right to be envious of other people's talents. People fail because they don't understand the necessity of one's hard work in order to become successful."

"B-but, they also said that you shouldn't force yourself on something that you can't do, right?" Yui timidly played with her hair as she said that. "Maybe I'm just not so cut out for this kind of stuff."

I scoffed at her comment. "That's when you're wrong, Yui-san. You need to stop these kinds of crap into your brain." I positioned myself over to the counter to begin my work. "I mean, justifying your own flaws and weaknesses, in hope that people could also accept that? Well I'd just say 'F' that. Just to hell with the rules and try your best, really." I continued, not really noticing the stares I've been getting from the other club members. "I'll just keep this brief, alright? It's pretty annoying to see someone to just cope with their own flaws."

Oh crap, I was so I think that came out rather wrong. Why's Yui fell into a long silence. Why's she shadowing her own eyes with her hair?

"C-c..." She's stuttering, oh freaking crap. "Cool!"

_What? _

"**_Eh?_**" was our combined reaction to that. I even almost dropped the sack of flour I've been holding in my hands.

Yui was balling her fist, and her eyes filled with determination. "You don't even coat the flour with sugar! That's so cool!"

"You weren't listening to what we just said back then?" Yukino was indeed, surprised by this, and so am I. "You do realize that we just said some harsh things to you, right?"

The pink haired, somewhat innocent girl nodded to answer her question. "I do, but I think I understand what you said, and that you meant it. No one's ever been this straight forward to me... So... Sorry, I will do better next time!"

Hachiman just sat there with an amused look on his face. "Just... teach her properly, would you please?"

"Well, time's a wasting, guys, let's do this." I said with some tiny bit of unnoticeable confidence in my voice.

Yukino nods at my silent prompt to start. "We'll show you how to do it this once. Watch it closely, alright?"

"Right!" Yui nodded happily.

It was for the first time, that I think being a cold guy isn't so bad after all.

* * *

**That One Guy**

**The Pinkette**

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

I can actually cook in real life.


End file.
